I thought I would write a bit more of a personal post today, and its definitely still an ongoing journey that I’m going to discuss – my fitness journey.
I’ve been a member of the same gym for 8 years, and I have always had a very love/hate relationship with working out. I would find my motivation and go 3 times a week for two or three months and then drop off again, going less frequently and eventually missing weeks or months at a time. Usually the reason I would stop going as much was because I either got to a place I was quite happy with, finally seeing results and then would think ‘oh fab! I don’t need to go as much anymore’ or, I wouldn’t be seeing any results and would lose motivation.
In reality, the times I have seen results and then stopped going is the time I should have kept up the hard work, because I have never been in a position where I have reached my full potential and I could just slap myself for that! Why stop going when you start to see results? Ive done it so many times and I know it makes no sense at all, if I had kept going and I could have been even happier with the results I was seeing! And for the times I would break my back to go to the gym and then see no results, clearly I was doing something wrong either at the gym or in the kitchen and wasn’t doing the right exercises for my body. I will admit, I never liked going to the gym, I enjoyed it once I got there, I enjoyed the results, but actually getting me there was like pulling teeth – I had to force myself to go and dreaded it.
I remember before I went to California with my friend, I had been going to the gym loads and literally having a Cup’a’Soup and cups of tea for my lunch at work, yes I saw results very quickly, but my god did those results disappear a hundred times faster than they came! I will never do that to myself again, what a miserable, unenjoyable thing to do to myself for months – and how unhealthy! I absolutely love food so cutting back on everything enjoyable is just not something I can do, and never will again. EVERYTHING in moderation!
(Warning! If you aren’t comfortable with a bit of lady, time of the month, contraceptive talk then you might want to skip the next paragraph)
In November 2016 I got my contraceptive implant changed over, I’ve had two before and this one was my third (they last 3 years each). I had never had any of the scary side effects associated with the implant before, the only things I experienced were entirely positive. Until now. With my other two implants my ‘time of the month’ stopped almost immediately, apart from a day or two of spotting once a year/every 6 months. I used to feel really exhausted, sleepy and almost flu-like around my time of the month before I got the implant so that all completely stopped too – for me, this was fantastic! With the implant I have at the moment everything changed. My time of the month came back straight away and are super irregular and the other thing that I noticed after about a month of the new implant was my weight, it was creeping up…quickly.
From the Nov’16 to March’17 I was going to the gym consistently and eating well, as I had two holidays coming up in March, one to Italy with Jack and his parents and one to India with my friends, this was motivation enough to keep me going and I was trying really hard but for some reason I was still piling on the pounds. I couldn’t understand what was going on, this was my 7th year using the implant as my form of contraception and it didn’t occur to me that this could be the thing effecting my weight until somebody at work pointed it out when I was talking to them about this very issue.
By the time I went to India I was feeling so rubbish about my appearance, I had ballooned from what I am used to my figure being, nothing was fitting properly, and I was ordering holiday clothes in my normal size and realizing I needed the next size up, when I had been going to the gym and trying to eat well, this was mortifying.
Now, I’m not saying that the size I am in the India photo is ‘big’. I would never want anyone to think that because I see myself as big in that photo, at that time, that it means I think anyone that size or bigger is overweight. But for me, being almost 2 sizes bigger than what I have been used to for years and years it was a very sudden change that isn’t normal for me or my frame. Whether you’re a size 8 or 18, going up a dress size or two in a matter of months when you’re going to the gym, eating well and trying to lose weight is going to be a disappointment for anyone!
Since I got back from India in April, I have still been regularly exercising and eating ok but not seeing much improvement, until now!
I have finally decided to get my implant removed and to try a different form of contraception, so hopefully that will really help, but until then the thing that has made all the difference was my drunken mistake turned savior – emailing a personal trainer.
Yep, drunk Chelsea thought sober Chelsea needed to get her shit together and book a personal trainer. And she couldn’t have been more right! I woke up, head absolutely banging, desperate for water, and with a mouth tasting of wine and winced as I looked at my phone. The brightness was hard for my hungover eyes to adjust to as I read an email I had received, ‘Morning Chelsea, Great to hear from you. Yeah I am still working at The Gym in Leeds & have availability to take on a new client’ … w h a t ? Who is this? Why are they emailing me? Oh my god what have I done!? And then I saw what I had sent – I could have curled up in a ball and cried with embarrassment.
Heres just a little of what I sent in my email;
‘Im turning into a pale potato lady and I need desperate help! I know I have the capability to have the body I lust over on Instagram, as I’ve made good progress towards that before – but I need someone to help me get there and STAY THERE! Please get back to me asap, Many thanks, Chelsea’
I m t u r n i n g i n t o a p a l e p o t a t o l a d y .
How many glasses of wine did I drink? Who says that!? Mortified, I couldn’t cope with not replying, and the thought of replying to admit I was drunk was not an option, I didn’t really want to change gym’s, so the only other thing I could do was take drunk Chelsea’s idea and run with it – no pun intended!
Starting with a personal trainer was probably the best decision I have made this year, I am so, so glad that I sent that email.. yes, I wish I had sent it sober and not called myself a pale potato lady, that was uncalled for, but still the best decision I have made in 2017.
We agreed to measure my progress in my strength and measurements, rather than by weight. I don’t want to be fixated on how much I weigh and would rather track how I’m doing based on how I look in the mirror and feel in myself. My trainer is £150 a month on top of my gym membership, which is only £15.99 a month (The Gym) and I have 1 session with him a week. I make sure I go another 2 times a week on my own, mixing my exercises up with the things I have learnt from him and making sure to concentrate on certain parts of my body to get a more beneficial workout.
I have been with my trainer for just over 2 months and so far I have lost an inch on my waist, gained an inch on my bum and stayed the same on my legs and arms. I’m happy with the progress so far, I think you always want to results to be better than they end up being, but steady, maintainable progress is better to me than fast and unsustainable results. I have told him I don’t mind how big my bum gets, keep that growing! I would like to have more toned legs and stomach, and slim down my arms where I naturally carry a lot of weight. I am finally enjoying going to the gym again. I don’t dread going and I don’t have to force myself to go, I want to go! I think it helps that I am doing more exercises that I know work and I’m no longer just making things up as I go along. my motivation is back and I’m determined to carry it on even when I get to where I want to be, and then maintain my hard work rather than letting it all unravel. Wish me luck!
I’ll probably do another post later on with my progress, where I am and how I’m feeling, maybe once I’ve sorted my contraception out things will change too!
Love, Chelsea xxx
Are you a gym bunny? What is your favorite kind of work out? Has anyone else done what I have and gone until they see a change and then just stop? Or is that just me… Does anyone else struggle with motivation when you aren’t seeing results – even though you feel like you’re working your ass off? Let me know in the comments!